Pride

Flaws are a very funny thing. It’s really easy to see them in another person, but very difficult to see them in yourself. Take what just happened for instance. Me and a friend of mine just had a minor fight and I can’t stop thinking oh damn him and his pride, but yet I can’t deny that it wouldn’t have happened without a good deal of pride on my part as well. Everyone can see flaws in others but many times we don’t realize them in ourselves until someone else points that out…. I wonder why that is. Ironically for me it’s probably because my pride hides them from myself. I even know where my pride comes from, it’s the whole you can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens you except taken way too far and outa context. I think in some sick way that admitting I can’t or shouldn’t do something makes me a failure to God and those closest to me…. It’s really rather scary. There are others I refuse to admit besides pride: how about greed, anger, jealousy, and being untruthful just to name a few. I just think my pride helps me deny the existence of all these. Naturally, the part of Christ in me won’t let me completely ignore the fact that they exist because they are all things that hold me back from doing His work. But I really want to, really I do…. But where to start? How does someone go about ridding themselves of wicked thoughts when thoughts are so hard to control? I’m not sure I have the wisdom required to answer these questions but I know where to find some things that may help. The first thing I must do is listen to the words of Galatians 6: 1-6 that says “Brothers if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he should take pride in himself, without comparing himself to anyone else for each one should carry his own load. Anyone who receives instruction in the word must share all good things with his instructor.” It’s kinda nice to find a large portion of what your struggling with nearly word for word in the Bible, it atleast means I’m not the first. So basically I should be proud of what I can do, but only that which I do through the help of The Almighty and I should never compare myself to others. Meaning if I play the best game I can and lose then I should be satisfied? Man I’ve got a long way to go to get there. Yet I do like that this passage doesn’t necessarily encourage complacency either because it should be that I want to be better for the glory of God and for my own feeling of accomplishment not because I want to beat someone else or be better than someone else. This even pours over into arguments maybe whats best for me is to occasionally concede an argument instead of going purple in the face yelling and screaming. With pride gone could I begin to work on all the other areas of my life that need such help? I hope so but either way I know that this is the place to start. Now changing 18 years of a certain way of thinking isn’t gonna be easy and I cant expect to just be perfect now that I’ve admitted I have a problem but I can hope to get better. Life is a race that leads to a very nice finish line but one single step can direct me off the path or bring me back on it, I just hope this is the step I needed. I have to approach all competition and all life like this because the point of this race isn’t to get there faster than everyone else. The point is to get there. I just pray that I can continue to be sincere in my desire to strive to improve myself so I can further glorify God instead of trying to further glorify myself. But for now all I can do is just take one more step…..Amen